Monday, March 18, 2013

Couples Counseling 101


Do you and your spouse constantly struggle with communication? Are you feeling less and less connected to him/her? Are your interactions becoming more negative? These are major warning signs of a relationship in trouble and possibly on the road to failure.


If wishes could be granted, my wish would be that as soon as a couple see warning signs in their marriage they would seek help...immediately!    Immediately! Do not pass Go...Do not collect $200....

Unfortunately this is not always the case. When many couples have waited to see me, they have allowed years of issues to fester.  These issues breed feelings of resentment and bitterness which grow at an almost exponential rate. Before I can even begin to help a couple with the original problems, we have to work through the years of built-up resentment and bitterness.  Some couples greatly struggle just to work through these feelings...

Counseling should NOT be the "last ditch" effort, the "fast food drive-thru" if you will, before meeting with the divorce attorney.  If you and your spouse are struggling, I strongly encourage you to seek help.  Whether the help be from a professional counselor or a pastor, please do not put it off.   You may save yourself years of heartache and regrets!

Lastly, I am a huge proponent of preventative medicine!  Research shows that the best time to do couples counseling, marital therapy, or marital enrichment is when things are going well!  Yes!  You heard me! When spouses feel good about each other they feel safe in the relationship and thereby want to make their relationship even better!   


Written by Melissa Yoak, LPCC, director of DaySpring Counseling.  Melissa specializes in working with couples and families.




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